Be a Quitter
- Ron Roessler
- Jun 9
- 2 min read
“Never quit.”
It is one of the most common messages students hear growing up. Finish what you
start. Push through adversity. Show commitment. Build grit.
And often, that advice is right.
But there is an important distinction between perseverance and inertia. Sometimes
students are not persevering toward growth, purpose, or engagement. They are staying busy because they are afraid to quit.
At Avenir Prep, we often meet ambitious students who have said yes to too many
activities, clubs, teams, and obligations. On paper, they look “involved.” In reality, they
may be exhausted, disconnected, and spending time on activities that no longer fit who they are becoming. Part of our work is helping students step back, clarify what matters, and use their time with greater purpose.
That does not mean students should abandon commitments casually. If a team relies on you, if other people are counting on you, or if you made a meaningful commitment,
there is value in honoring that responsibility. Reliability and discipline matter.
But there is also value in reflection.
A student who tries an activity, gives it real effort, and realizes it is not meaningful,
engaging, or aligned with their authentic path should not feel trapped forever by the fear of being called a quitter.
A helpful way to think about this is the overlap between three questions: What does the student enjoy? What are they good at? And where can their time and effort meaningfully strengthen the authentic path they are building toward college and beyond?
In fact, quitting the wrong things is often what creates space for the right things.
This is where the conversation becomes more nuanced than simplistic “never quit”
advice.
In her bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, psychologist
Angela Duckworth emphasizes sustained effort toward long-term outcomes. But grit only becomes powerful when it is directed toward the right goal. Endlessly grinding
through activities that drain motivation and purpose is not the same as meaningful
perseverance. Real grit emerges when students discover pursuits that genuinely matter to them and commit deeply over time.
This also connects with Christine Whelan’s work on purpose and happiness. In The Big
Picture, Whelan emphasizes helping young people understand their values, interests,
talents, and sense of purpose, then use those insights to take meaningful action. That
kind of self-understanding helps students decide not only what to pursue, but also what to release.
Middle and high school students are still discovering what energizes them, what
challenges them, and where they find purpose. Exploration is healthy. Trying new things is healthy. Ultimately, though, the goal is not to wander forever. The goal is not to build the busiest résumé. The goal is to build an authentic, engaged, and sustainable path.
And sometimes the smartest path forward begins with letting something go.
About the Author
Dr. Ron Roessler is a board-certified emergency physician, longtime teacher and Latin
coach, and co-founder of Avenir Prep, an unconventional education consulting firm
that helps students identify an authentic and differentiated path while embracing the joy of being a kid.
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